I can't say that I have been too interested in doing my blog for a long while. Figured I better catch up a little today. So here goes; Christmas 2012 found me in the hospital in a coma on life support fighting pneumonia, I also had sepsis which is infection throughout the body and my kidneys and liver during the night shut completely down so the hospital had called for Life Flight to fly me to a hospital in Boise so I could be put on dialysis the helicopter landed just as a blood test came back that my kidneys and liver had started functioning again so I never got that Life Flight which is good. Doctor said he was extremely worried still though because my blood pressure was so very low and he could not get it to stabilize. This is me... I take three blood pressure meds to keep my blood pressure in a high normal range. Crazy! So after missing out on Christmas with my guys and being so terribly ill I woke up and they had to restrain me because I kept reaching toward my face and they didn't want me to pull the hoses but if I could have communicated to them what I needed I would have told them that I was only reaching up to move my lip off my teeth because they had pinned it to my teeth under their tape and it HURT and was so chapped that I needed something for my chapped lip. Man I was MAD at everyone because they wouldn't bring me paper and pen so I could tell them what I needed. Noone seemed to understand until FINALLY my dear friend Anita showed up to visit me and she got me a pen and paper and I told her what I needed so off she ran to the pharmacy to get me my most loved brand of lip soother, Mineral Ice. I remember her putting it on my lips and how delicious that felt to FINALLY have the calming soothing feel of it where before all I had was pain. Anita you were truly an angel to me that day!!!! So fast forward to spring and I just had no energy to do anything still. I was still thinking I was fighting that same infection because my white cell count was still in the 18,000s and normal is around 8,000 says my doctor. So months of antibiotics ensued. When it still was a problem after August came and went my doc sent a blood sample to a hematologist. Said Hematologist (study of blood doctor) had an appointment made for me for the results. It had not been an infection I was fighting once the sepsis was taken care of apparently it had been that I was now fighting CLL otherwise known as Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia. Yup Cancer! As time has gone by and with talking to the doctors and learning far more about this particular cancer I realize that it really should not be considered a true cancer but should be considered a blood disorder. Some sort of protein in my bone marrow is making my white cells form in weird shapes and way too many of them to compensate for them not doing the normal job of a normal white cell. My count is down to in the 12,000s now but still is high. This cancer has no treatment at this time and as such there is no cure for it but it isn't a killer as such either. I will live with it I will not die FROM it! So I guess as cancers go this is one of the best to have in that I won't die from it nor will I have to go through a treatment that nearly kills me. I would have preferred getting a cancer that was treatable and curable but I have come to terms with this. My plants are all tucked in under the leaves and snow and awaiting spring. This spring they will all be dug and put into pots to either sell or be babysat by my friend Anita until our move to the Portland area is done later this year. Our son wishes to move there or we would be wanting to move to the Oregon coast itself so figured we would help him out by buying a place that is big enough that he can have an apartment on our property. After all he will inherit the property so why not have him help us make the payments on it so when he inherits it he won't have to pay inheritance taxes on it. That's my story and I am sticking to it. ;op This winter I am trying to pack as much as I can in the house for our move. Trying is the operative word here because I have been pretty lazy about it until this past week when I have hit it pretty well and have gotten through all our Christmas stuff so it is ready to roll, about half of my knick knacks are packed now and all of the aquarium stuff that I am not presently using is ready to move too. I hope to get my china cabinet packed up this week because I have traded it to a friend for packing help later this spring/summer. I might as well get things done so I can paint and patch walls and get that done before the heat of the summer slows me down with that activity. I lost 100 pounds this past year and hope to lose more this year. I don't think I can do another 100 as quickly this time since much of that was water weight from my illness but I know I can get down a few sizes in clothes if I really sink my mind on it and don't tell my husband what I am up to because whether he realizes it or not he sabotages my weight loss. I know he wants me to be healthy but he has a way of saying things to me that I take as mean spirited so I just have finally learned not to say anything to him that would undermine my own journey. He has never had a weight issue and can stop eating something very easily--I can't I have to really wrap my head around it and dual with it.